Craig Clouston

Grieve With Hope

Let the little children come to me…for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. Matthew 19:14

Desiree didn’t know how to feel. Neither did Josh. They had just lost a child to miscarriage.

The doctor said, “it wasn’t a viable fetus; only tissue at this stage.”

Unable to comprehend their loss, they decided by unspoken agreement to deal with it silently…and individually. Desiree grew distant. Josh withdrew into silent rebellion. He began to medicate his pain with alcohol. Living like this felt like hell, and he was determined not to feel anything.  

Desiree languished in an emotion-tossed ocean, battered by the relentless waves.

Life became a sequence of going to work, silently eating supper together, and feeling like hypocrites at church on Sunday because of the hidden anger aimed at the Throne.    

When Desiree wept, Josh tried his best to comfort her, but what could he say? Sorry we lost the…the what? Was it a baby, or wasn’t it?! It was safer to not talk about it. And neither of them was willing to rip the newly-formed scab from its wound. Perhaps it would heal if left alone…   

Then one day Desiree and Josh met a counselor from the local Pro-life Pregnancy Center, who explained that there was hope for the future. Slowly, through counseling, light pierced the darkness, and hope replaced loss.

†

Miscarriage is one of the most misunderstood and least talked about forms of loss. It steals the unseen. Having never held this child outside the womb, the loss becomes an intangible. The pain is indifferent and ambiguous, yet deep and inexpressible.

Having experienced two miscarriages, I can attest to the emptiness and unremitting sorrow over such loss.  

I would, however, like to present a hope-filled perspective: What a privilege these children are extended, to never be subjected to sin, pain, or sorrow…and to grow up in the Light of Life!

We will meet them one day in the greatest family reunion the world has ever witnessed! Until then, never allow anyone to tell you your child was only tissue. Mourn your loss and grieve with hope.   

“Prayer”

“Father of life, I bring before You each wounded heart that has experienced this loss. Touch them with Your truth and bring healing to their scarred hearts. Give them hope! In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”