Craig Clouston

The Knife

Fathers, do not exasperate your children.
Ephesians 6:4

At fifteen, Allen had been trying to get his father’s attention for as long as he could remember. All he’d wanted was to play catch, a video game, maybe go fishing or something. He just wanted to do anything with his dad, but his dad was always too busy.
On an impulse, Allen took one of his dad’s special knives from his favorite collection and sold it to a kid at school. He couldn’t tell you why he’d done it; all he knew was that he was angry at his dad.
His silent cry for attention went unchecked for several weeks until one day his dad asked, “Do you know where my knife is, Allen?”
“You mean the fancy hand-carved handled one in the case?” Allen baited his dad, a look of defiance on his face.
His father bristled at his insolence. “Where is it, Allen?” he demanded.
Allen continued the farce. “Yeah, I remember seeing it somewhere; now, where was that?”
“What’d you do with the knife, Allen?” his dad barked in response to Allen’s attitude. He concluded with a consequence-inferred declaration, “You tell me right now or so help me … ”
“I sold it! Okay?” Allen screamed, red faced, tears streaming down his cheeks. “So what? What’re you gonna do to me?”

†

Allen wanted what was rightfully his: love and attention from his father. And though his actions were misguided, he contrived to get his father’s attention any way he could.
When we fail to give our children our time and attention, they go elsewhere to assuage their hunger for these inherent natural urges. Many substitute drugs, alcohol, sex, and gang life—almost anything for the love they crave.
In the busyness of our society, our children quite literally are fending for themselves. We shop them out to the closest family member or friend to give ourselves time to fit one more thing into our already over-stuffed schedules, only to find them disconnected, pregnant, and in trouble with the law.
Make no mistake: there is no replacement for our time. Our children need not suffer exasperation. Give of yourself to those who matter most.

Prayer

“Lord, help me provide the love my kids need—in time and affection, in connectivity and bonding. In Jesus’ strength and Name, amen.”