Craig Clouston

Snipers

A gossip separates close friends.
Proverbs 16:28

Ted used sarcasm when he talked about his friends. Present or absent, he still had something to say that should have been left unsaid.
“You know, I really like Jack. He’s a good carpenter. Builds some top-of-the-line houses, he does. Ain’t much of a singer though. You ever hear him sing? Screech is what I ought to say! Oh man! I mean catlike!” he said and laughed.
One day his friend Terry confronted him about his slanderous comments. “Ted, you ever think before you speak?”
It was an honest question. But Ted didn’t understand it. “Whaddya mean?” he asked, looking puzzled.
“I mean,” Terry proceeded, “when you talk about people, do you ever think about what you’re going to say, or does it just come out on its own?”
“What do you mean, ‘the way you talk about people’?” He was genuinely at a loss and also getting genuinely upset. “Just how do you think I talk about people?”
“You may not recognize it as such, but your offhanded sarcasm is hurtful,” Terry said, letting that statement sink in.
“I resent that!” he said. “What offhanded sarcasm are you talking about?”
“Remember your comment about Jack’s singing the other day?” Terry countered.
“You can’t be serious!” He was incredulous. “I didn’t mean anything by that.” He defended his actions.
“But it was negative nonetheless, Ted. That’s the issue. Offhanded comments, or friendly banter, as you call it, create tension. Carelessness like that has been known to break up friendships. Is that what you want?” Terry asked.

“I never thought about that. You know I don’t mean anything by it,” he argued. But Terry had made his point.

†

There are some who, like snipers, pick others off using words as weapons. Some of them mean harm; others don’t understand the negative affect of their words. Sometimes thoughtless, innocent-seeming words can cause irreparable damage to lifelong relationships.

We must be conscious of the affect our words have on others before we speak. Casual words spoken with no ill intent can have devastating consequences.

If we can’t use language befitting true friendship—encouraging and edifying—we should remain silent.

Prayer

“Help me choose my words wisely, Lord. May I always be conscious of their affect before they are spoken. In Jesus’ Name, amen.”