Craig Clouston

Awaiting Our Return

…he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him…

Luke 15:20

Sitting in the back of the fire bus, Steve was experiencing a crisis of faith. He decided he was somewhere near, if not at, his emotional bottom. Dealing and using drugs to numb the pain of an abusive and violent childhood had never come close to accomplishing the goal, and Steve remained unsettled.

Where the hell have you been, God?! his soul cried out. Unexpectedly, a picture of a poem Steve hadn’t thought of in years came to mind. ‘Footprints in the Sand’

Instantly, his vision focused on what he’d been gazing at outside the bus. Two sets of raccoon tracks followed the edge a swift-running creek. Watching as the bus continued on, one set of tracks suddenly disappeared, and God whispered, “I have never left you, Steve. I have carried you through all those years of heartache and trouble. I was grieved when your father threw shoes at you. I have always been there.”

For the next six hours God ministered to Steve, reminding him of times long forgotten; the good and the bad. Slowly, Steve’s perspective of a punishing and angry God, looking a lot like Abe Lincoln sitting on his concrete throne at the Lincoln Memorial, faded, to be replaced by the true, loving nature of God.

As the fire bus pulled into the station, God whispered once more, “Return to Me, Steve. I’ll take care of the rest.”

†

Much like the prodigal, many of us have squandered our spiritual inheritance, only to realize the life we’ve chosen isn’t meeting our needs or expectations. Yet unwilling to admit blame we demand, “Where the hell are you, God?!” And because of His great love for us He disregards our obstinacy and immediately picks us up and begins wiping away the dirt and filth. He places the robe of royalty upon us, and on our finger He puts the signet ring of Sonship. All that matters is that we have returned!

In our deepest pain, at our lowest point, God is waiting for us. He wants to tend our wounded hearts and set us free from the things that separate us from a healing, loving relationship that brings joy and peace. The only requirement is that we surrender control.

Prayer

“Abba Father, I’ve had enough of running my own life. I say yes and ask You to take care of the rest. In Jesus’ Mighty Name, amen.”