Hmm …
Husbands, love your wives … and the wife must respect the husband.
Ephesians 5:25, 33
Most evenings found Mark and Tina reading. One would invariably come across something interesting enough to share, and would utter a soft “Hmm … ” It was an invitation to listen; it meant “I really want to share this with you! Are you interested?”
The Hmm hadn’t always been endearing. It had initially been viewed as an inconsiderate interruption. Yet over time, they grew fond of these moments of sharing. It promoted laughter, and strengthened their relationship. The “Hmm … ” had taught them to be considerate of each other; to place the other’s needs above their own. It became a tender, affectionate bonding that strengthened their marriage.
Their now positive response to the “Hmm … ” was a result of learning to be unselfish. They had discovered that their willingness to put the other first paid huge rewards in maturing their love. Over the years God used the “Hmm … ” to teach them the importance of validation through attentive listening.
So tonight, when Mark heard Tina’s soft, “Hmm … ” he grinned, inserted his bookmark, laid the book aside, and turning toward Tina with a knowing grin, said, “Okay, what?”
Tina, now the center of Mark’s world, smiled brightly, as if to say, “I knew you loved me,” and began to relate what had elicited her discreet interruption.
†
God made men and women different: women naturally love; men naturally respect. Doing the opposite does not come naturally; we must be taught.
If we want deep, long-lasting relationships, we will do as God commands in today’s text. Through submitting to God’s wisdom we learn the importance of honor above self.
When we begin to genuinely enjoy finding out what interests each other, instead of selfishly looking at these opportunities as inconsiderate interruptions, we grow and mature spiritually.
Our spouse is to be held in high esteem. When we dismiss their “Hmm … ” as insignificant they hear, “You do not matter to me right now. Please wait until I am no longer busy before you bother me again.”
1Corintians 13:4–7 says, “Love is patient, love is kind … it is not self-seeking … it always protects.” This then, is how we are to respond to each other’s “Hmm … ”
Prayer
“Help me place my spouse’s need for validation above my need for undisturbed peace. In Jesus’ Name, amen.”
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